Really, You Have Talents?

(I have done up Part 3 of the trip to Oriental Paris but that post has to wait for this classic – it was one of the funniest things I have ever seen in Youtube)

(Watch the video below to see why this judge of a talent show in India goes in shock)

I am sure everyone would have seen some kind of “talent” show in TV – at least at the level of American Idol. In India (through the TV shows over at Astro), we have watched all kind of “talent” shows – singing show, dancing show and once in a while, live stand-up comedy show. But I am very sure that no one would have seen this kind of “talent” show ever!

The link was IM-ed to me by a Singh friend and the start seemed rather harmless but somehow seeing all those guys in military camouflaged pants should have raised some kind alarm. The expression on the judges’ faces was priceless and despite the horror, no one bothered to stop the “talented” guys from continuing. It was a bloody end but at the same time, it was so unbelievably funny.

Just watch till the end and keep a close eye on the judges’ reactions!

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Funny Gym Attire

Here’s one for the weekend…

(It has been a while since I last went to a gym but I don’t recall when was the last time I heard someone was moaning in the gym. Graph source: http://graphjam.wordpress.com)

From Malay Mail:-

HAVING your gym membership terminated because of your exercise gear is probably the last thing you would expect to happen.

As ludicrous as it may sound, this was the exact bombshell that landed on a 47-year-old administrator by one of the largest privately-owned health clubs in the world.

“The staff, one of whom is the manager of the gym known as Maggie, stopped me and told me that they wanted to have a talk with me immediately. They then took me to a tea stall nearby where she bluntly told me I was no longer allowed into the gym as they have terminated my membership.”

LOKE says if her dressing is considered indecent, the fitness centre should have a dress code so that members know what they should or should not wear.

“I also would like to know which clause states that we must be silent during classes? In fact, the instructors encourage us to be more participative. I did not cause anyone any problems. It is very unfair for a loyal member to be treated in this manner.”

The gym center replied to the allegations in the paper and they seem to have valid points to terminate her membership but the really funny part was the readers’ comments at the bottom. Some of the classic ones are:-

If I were to tell you her ‘activities’, one whole day wouldn’t be enough to tell half. You might say I’m mean but when you have to exercise with such an ‘INTERESTING’ sideshow, your blood would boil or you might die from over laughing

You haven’t experienced the torment that we have suffered from all those years going to classes with her. I swear if murder was legal…

Moans during the exercise? Please respect the male members. They can’t work out if certain parts of their body obstruct the movement of the lower parts of their body

Can I have her number? Is she attached?

Damn, this is really, really funny!

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Handling Gym Equipment

FCUK!

It is that time of the year when things come to a crawl and one looks back the last 350 plus days and wondered whether one had made any positive change on oneself, friends, environment, colleagues, family and the country. It seems everyone is waiting for the new year to start – perhaps for renewed personal aim, mission, energy, purpose in life, etc

So, here’s one for 2010 before we move on to 2011 – it has not been a great year but at the same, we have managed just fine

(Sometimes, in order to “tone” down the word, we use the word “screwed” instead. Image source: http://www.flickr.com/photos/eplewis)

When I was in law school, I still remember my first week. We were herded together in a big room and we had this principal of the school coming in for the first time for a lecture. The principal looked serious (we found later that he is the funniest of the whole lot), so we kept silent and looked serious too.

Somewhere in between his lecture which started serious as well, he mentioned the word “fuck” and immediately someone at the back of the class expressed his shock (which was not a big surprise since we have not heard the “word” mentioned so open in public, more so in a school). The lecturer stopped his lectures and looked at us. He looked angry but actually he was not.

He smiled and then he started to laugh. He shook his head and asked why we were so disturbed with the “word”. As law students, it was one of the earliest lesson we learn on questioning on what we have learned todate and taking the courage to go against what has been established as “standards”.

He said that in downtown Harlem where he had visited once, the word is so common that it exist in almost all sentences. He then went to act like an African American from Harlem and start to speak with the “word” in almost all sentences. (adding other so-called “forbidden” words in between). That broke the ice and brought us into a new state of mind.

Now enjoy this revelation on the “word” – supposedly by an Indian lecturer (WARNING: due to the nature of the “word”, it is not considered as “safe for work”. Please do keep the volume down)


P.s. I got this one from a buddy of mine but there is no detail of the source and the story behind the recording but it is indeed a classic.

MACC in “Action”

I have read about it but nothing beats watching it in video…

Just watched “Malaysia’s Funniest and Tragic Court” video and it was hilarious to see the “experienced” 24 years MACC lawyer trying very, very hard to prove a point in the case.

Watch out for Part 5 – the juicy part is there but then again, the comedy starts in Part 1 itself.

Watch out for the frustration and disbelief of the other lawyers in the court, especially Malek Imtiaz and Gobind Singh, to the extent the coroner have to re-correct the MACC lawyer on what Dr Pornthip had said earlier (but Abdul Razak still insists on what he thinks Dr Pornthip had said despite court records says otherwise).

Greatest Mystery of All

This one is for the guys…

(One of the best tries to date but the truth is men and women are from 2 different planets, on different time zones, different school of thoughts. Image source: http://andlooking.wordpress.com)

You probably have this joke (or a variation of it):-

A man walking along a California beach was deep in prayer when all of a sudden he said aloud, “Lord grant me one wish”. The sky clouded and a booming voice said, “Because you have tried to be faithful I will grant you one wish.” The man said, “Build a bridge to Hawaii so I can drive over any time I want to.”

The Lord answered, “Your request is very materialistic. Think of the logistics of that kind of undertaking. The supports required to reach the bottom of the Pacific! The concrete and steel it would take. I can do it, but it is hard for me to justify your desire for worldly things. Take a little more time to think of another wish, a wish you think would honour and glorify me”.

The man thought for a long time and finally said, “Lord, I wish that I could understand women. I want to know what they feel inside, what they are thinking when they give me the silent treatment, why they cry, what they mean when they say ‘nothing’, and how I can make a woman truly happy?”

After a few minutes God said, “How many lanes did you want on that bridge?”

(Source: here)

Yesterday as I drove back from work, I saw a durian stall at my housing area. I just ignored them and drove on. I took my dinner and about to take my shower when my sister arrived and told that she noticed a durian stall nearby and she wanted to buy some durians. I told her that I did not have enough cash but if she is buying, we don’t mind eating. I took shower and came down. My sister and my dad had gone and bought just a couple of durians but the quality was not that good.

The “meat” was a bit hard but nonetheless sweet.

My dad offered a plate (others have declined) to me – I took the whole plate, asked around and started to enjoy the durians. I saw my wife looking at me from the dining table, so I asked whether she wanted one but she just declined. She even remarked that the durians from her home town tasted better. She said no once again. She even added the comment – that she these days disliked the smell of durian. I then asked my son and he took a couple of bite but due to the quality of the fruit, he declined further bites.

I finished the rest of the fruit and with a full stomach, I headed to the bedroom. Just before going to sleep, my wife confronted me and asked me – “Why I did not offer a bite of the durian to her?”

I was loss for words – I thought I did asked her; at this point, I thought I heard God asking me – “how many lanes you wanted on that bridge?”