This one is for the guys…
(One of the best tries to date but the truth is men and women are from 2 different planets, on different time zones, different school of thoughts. Image source: http://andlooking.wordpress.com)
You probably have this joke (or a variation of it):-
A man walking along a California beach was deep in prayer when all of a sudden he said aloud, “Lord grant me one wish”. The sky clouded and a booming voice said, “Because you have tried to be faithful I will grant you one wish.” The man said, “Build a bridge to Hawaii so I can drive over any time I want to.”
The Lord answered, “Your request is very materialistic. Think of the logistics of that kind of undertaking. The supports required to reach the bottom of the Pacific! The concrete and steel it would take. I can do it, but it is hard for me to justify your desire for worldly things. Take a little more time to think of another wish, a wish you think would honour and glorify me”.
The man thought for a long time and finally said, “Lord, I wish that I could understand women. I want to know what they feel inside, what they are thinking when they give me the silent treatment, why they cry, what they mean when they say ‘nothing’, and how I can make a woman truly happy?”
After a few minutes God said, “How many lanes did you want on that bridge?”
Yesterday as I drove back from work, I saw a durian stall at my housing area. I just ignored them and drove on. I took my dinner and about to take my shower when my sister arrived and told that she noticed a durian stall nearby and she wanted to buy some durians. I told her that I did not have enough cash but if she is buying, we don’t mind eating. I took shower and came down. My sister and my dad had gone and bought just a couple of durians but the quality was not that good.
The “meat” was a bit hard but nonetheless sweet.
My dad offered a plate (others have declined) to me – I took the whole plate, asked around and started to enjoy the durians. I saw my wife looking at me from the dining table, so I asked whether she wanted one but she just declined. She even remarked that the durians from her home town tasted better. She said no once again. She even added the comment – that she these days disliked the smell of durian. I then asked my son and he took a couple of bite but due to the quality of the fruit, he declined further bites.
I finished the rest of the fruit and with a full stomach, I headed to the bedroom. Just before going to sleep, my wife confronted me and asked me – “Why I did not offer a bite of the durian to her?”
I was loss for words – I thought I did asked her; at this point, I thought I heard God asking me – “how many lanes you wanted on that bridge?”