MH370: The Side Show


It is going to be a week since MH370 went missing and yet, we have not lost hope…

Whilst the whole world is anxiously waiting for any positive news for the missing MH370 and the relatives, friends and the Government of the missing passengers have strongly expressed their dissatisfaction with the sometimes contradictory and lack of information coming out from Malaysia, they are unfortunately had to deal with this:-

One cannot dismiss the power of bomohs / shamans / astrologers in any society (even in India) – I know some of them are quite good in what they do. With MH370 still missing, there’s no harm trying but there is a proper place and time for everything. The last thing we need is to have someone doing weird charms & ceremonies in the public and in front of a group of “hungry for news” reporters. It does not take too long before it goes viral on the internet and Malaysia ends up becoming a laughing stock of the world.

Don’t these people realise that it seriously undermines the authorities’ credibility in the crisis and Malaysia’s good name. It already took some considerable beatings todate. It also mocks the serious effort by the authorities and the search & rescue teams combing the vast ocean for any evidence of the missing plane (why waste time and effort when you can do the same with 2 coconuts). It has led to a number of spoofs too.

Obama

P.s. There was a photo of Obama watching the circus on TV circulated in social media but this was confirmed to be a fake. But does it really matters if it is a fake or not when the world had watch and read about it and had a good laugh?

Toll Hike, Ha, Ha, Ha!


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Go ahead, clear your mind and a have good laugh.

Hopefully it will soften the pain that you feel deep down whenever you read Ministers’ statements in this country. I don’t know if they read their own statements before they read it aloud in public. It just reinforces the notion that we need to change the Government from the top, hopefully at least it will wake some people up and get them to use their mind before talking.

Well, take a deep breath and read this:-

The government has decided not to raise toll rates in 2014 to help Malaysians face rising prices. Deputy Prime Minister Tan Sri Muhyiddin Yassin said the government will have to pay over RM400 million in compensation to concessionaires as per agreement with them.

The government is also considering renegotiation of toll concession agreements after a thorough review of existing concessions.

Muhyiddin said the government made the decision not to raise tolls in the light of increasing criticism from various quarters over the rising cost of living, with hikes in prices of goods and subsidy cuts.

(Source)

Reading Muhyiddin’s statement that the government is “considering” renegotiation of toll concession agreements and the government made the decision not to raise tolls “in the light of increasing criticism” from various quarters almost caused me to choke on my breakfast yesterday. Muhyiddin was talking like the issue of toll hike crop up only yesterday and the RM400 million paid came from his own pockets, sigh. Very caring indeed. The government can always find way to screw the taxpayers on way or another and in this case, there is no difference.

The call for the government to renegotiate the toll concession agreements is not a new one. Pakatan had called for the same thing way back in 2009 and a good number of years had lapsed since then and only now they want to “renegotiation of toll concession agreements”? Sorry, consider to renegotiate. Hoooo, that’s scary. But then again, what the fuck they have been doing for the past few years when they could have done all their studies (with their highly paid consultants) and renegotiate the toll agreements when the toll was cheaper back then? Had their head in the ground and told themselves that everything is alright? They could have save millions of taxpayers money and the road users would have been a lot more happy with a prospect of cheaper toll even when they are stuck in mega traffic jam on the so-called highways.

And assuming this is true, I mean that they are finally going to do something about it instead farting loud in the wind (as usual), another 5 years would have lapsed and the toll concessionaires would still have made their millions either from toll hike or huge compensations. So trust me when you hear that the government is considering renegotiation of toll concession agreements, it will remain in the “considering” phase and no real action would take place (unless until we change the Government).

The other part of the morning joke by DPM was this – that government made the decision not to raise tolls in the light of increasing criticism from various quarters over the rising cost of living. Wow, how grateful we are but hold on, you mean to say that the government actually had a choice on this matter? I thought another Minister of yours said that they have no choice on this matter despite the same “criticism from various quarters over the rising cost of living”?

The toll rate hike next year is unavoidable as it is an express condition in the concession agreement between the government and highway concession companies, according to Minister in the Prime Minister’s Department Abdul Wahid Omar

(Source)

Oh wait, now I get it – the government made the decision not to raise tolls (due to criticism) but they still whack the people with huge compensations. Something is not right. You are not taking money from people who actually use the highways but then take money from all people who may or not use the highway and pay the compensation. And come up to the stage and say that you have been very caring.

Anyway, have you watched the video and laughed? If that does not make you laugh, I am sure that the statement from DPM above will. There is no toll hike but the taxpayers get screwed anyway with RM400 million bill and who knows what will happen after the Kajang by-election fiasco had ended. After all, didn’t they promised to reduce the toll before the last general election but right after the general election, they threw that idea out of the window and said that they have no choice but had to raise the toll?

Have a good weekend ahead and remember this in the next general elections.

Kangkung Factor


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(Among the many funny things posted on Najib’s statement that the price of kangkung had gone down, this stands in my mind as the funniest bit. I just love Ronald’s face on the second photo – it looks like he had answered too many phone calls asking for McKangkung. Images source: Facebook)

If you have missed out on the joke on Najib, look again – it’s on the front page of BBC, rather cheekily titled “Laughing Stalk“:-

Malaysia’s prime minister is being widely lampooned on social media for a comment he made about the price of kangkung, or water spinach.

Food is a faux pas minefield for politicians, especially when it’s perceived as being used in a get-down-with-the-people kind of way – think of British Prime Minister David Cameron’s pasty moment or Chancellor George Osborne’s “posh burger” tweet. The almost inevitable response seems to be ridicule. That’s where the Malaysian Prime Minister Najib Razak finds himself right now. With the government under fire because of price hikes in basics like fuel and electricity, he chose to push back by highlighting a reduction in the cost of the leafy green vegetable kangkung.

Kangkung – also known as water spinach, morning glory and Chinese spinach – is widely eaten in Malaysia, and is cooked as a stir-fry with a little garlic or chilli paste. But it’s cheap, grows wild alongside streams, paddy fields and drains, and is not considered a staple. Moments after a video of the prime minister was posted making the comments, the sarcasm and jokes began to trend on social media in Malaysia.

There have been hundreds of thousands of tweets, a Facebook page set up – with 10,000 followers already – a YouTube re-mix of his comments, the lyrics to popular and traditional folk songs have been re-worked, and “Keep calm and eat kangkung” T-shirts have been made and rushed to market.

(Source)

Thanks to Najib, the whole world is laughing at Malaysia!

But certainly it is not a laughing matter. All items that was promised (during the election campaign) to cost lower went the other way around. And just when you thought that these idiots would have learned a thing or two from the whole kangkung incident, they decided to go on an overdrive and make a fool of themselves many times over:-

A special Cabinet committee formed to tackle the high cost of living will look at the root causes of price increases to check unreasonable or arbitrary hikes. The committee, representing various ministries, understands that not all price increases stem from government fiscal consolidation measures. Some are due to market structural issues, including supply and sale, with unscrupulous businessmen exploiting the situation, said Deputy Prime Minister Tan Sri Muhyiddin Yassin.

(Source)

What, only now the Government want to set up some shit and want to find out “why” the cost of living had gone up!

You mean to say that they have been sticking their head in the ground all this time? Issue with market structural issues, including supply and sale, with unscrupulous businessmen exploiting the situation sprang up only now and without any warnings? Don’t you think it is a bit too late now especially the issue of price hike was actually raised and discussed in detail long before Christmas last year? Still remember one kangkung Minister telling off the consumer that if they feel that the price of chicken is high, then don’t eat chicken? Back then, this seemed to be the only best solution that they can come up with when consumers hit back at the Government on the drastic price hikes. One idiot went aboard with the “leave Malaysia if you don’t like BN” call which left many speechless. Perhaps all of them were aiming for the grand Kangkung of the Year award. 

Anyway why you need a special (ahem!) committee when you know they are only going to waste time and a lot of taxpayers money and in the end would still be clueless on why there has been a drastic price hike of essential things? At the most, they will come back and say that the increase is justified, it cannot be controlled and thus the Government have done its best and should not be blamed for it. Perhaps they will even justify the kangkung statement from Najib. This is what will happen at the end of day. The reason is this is simple – we had a handful of committees all the way from Pak Lah’s time too but nothing positive came out from these committees.

It does not take rocket science to know that there is a cascading effect on the price of basic items once you hike up the petrol and toll charges. The other part that causes unreasonable or arbitrary hikes is corruption, unnecessary  spending (what happened to that 2nd private jet that was rumored recently?) and lack of enforcement (if you say that the business owners raises the prices arbitrarily – then why they are not booked?). You still need a special committee to investigate the root cause? Why not entrust the related Government departments to do up the study and propose immediate action plan to the Government? Or this too has been curtailed by the billion ringgit consultants? Don’t you think with this, even the best kangkung jokes seemed rather pale?

Think about it and in the meantime, enjoy this video (ya, more kangkung jokes and it only shows that the Malaysians are always step ahead of the low thinking politicians):-

Have a good weekend ahead and make sure you take up a lot of kangkung (last I heard, it was cheap, very cheap)…

Lost At Sea Too


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One for the weekend – Cartoonist Zunar says it all with this brilliant piece. He has missed a couple more brains. Cartoon source: Zunar / Malaysiakini

Really, You Have Talents?


(I have done up Part 3 of the trip to Oriental Paris but that post has to wait for this classic – it was one of the funniest things I have ever seen in Youtube)

(Watch the video below to see why this judge of a talent show in India goes in shock)

I am sure everyone would have seen some kind of “talent” show in TV – at least at the level of American Idol. In India (through the TV shows over at Astro), we have watched all kind of “talent” shows – singing show, dancing show and once in a while, live stand-up comedy show. But I am very sure that no one would have seen this kind of “talent” show ever!

The link was IM-ed to me by a Singh friend and the start seemed rather harmless but somehow seeing all those guys in military camouflaged pants should have raised some kind alarm. The expression on the judges’ faces was priceless and despite the horror, no one bothered to stop the “talented” guys from continuing. It was a bloody end but at the same time, it was so unbelievably funny.

Just watch till the end and keep a close eye on the judges’ reactions!

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Funny Gym Attire


Here’s one for the weekend…

(It has been a while since I last went to a gym but I don’t recall when was the last time I heard someone was moaning in the gym. Graph source: http://graphjam.wordpress.com)

From Malay Mail:-

HAVING your gym membership terminated because of your exercise gear is probably the last thing you would expect to happen.

As ludicrous as it may sound, this was the exact bombshell that landed on a 47-year-old administrator by one of the largest privately-owned health clubs in the world.

“The staff, one of whom is the manager of the gym known as Maggie, stopped me and told me that they wanted to have a talk with me immediately. They then took me to a tea stall nearby where she bluntly told me I was no longer allowed into the gym as they have terminated my membership.”

LOKE says if her dressing is considered indecent, the fitness centre should have a dress code so that members know what they should or should not wear.

“I also would like to know which clause states that we must be silent during classes? In fact, the instructors encourage us to be more participative. I did not cause anyone any problems. It is very unfair for a loyal member to be treated in this manner.”

The gym center replied to the allegations in the paper and they seem to have valid points to terminate her membership but the really funny part was the readers’ comments at the bottom. Some of the classic ones are:-

If I were to tell you her ‘activities’, one whole day wouldn’t be enough to tell half. You might say I’m mean but when you have to exercise with such an ‘INTERESTING’ sideshow, your blood would boil or you might die from over laughing

You haven’t experienced the torment that we have suffered from all those years going to classes with her. I swear if murder was legal…

Moans during the exercise? Please respect the male members. They can’t work out if certain parts of their body obstruct the movement of the lower parts of their body

Can I have her number? Is she attached?

Damn, this is really, really funny!

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Handling Gym Equipment

FCUK!


It is that time of the year when things come to a crawl and one looks back the last 350 plus days and wondered whether one had made any positive change on oneself, friends, environment, colleagues, family and the country. It seems everyone is waiting for the new year to start – perhaps for renewed personal aim, mission, energy, purpose in life, etc

So, here’s one for 2010 before we move on to 2011 – it has not been a great year but at the same, we have managed just fine

(Sometimes, in order to “tone” down the word, we use the word “screwed” instead. Image source: http://www.flickr.com/photos/eplewis)

When I was in law school, I still remember my first week. We were herded together in a big room and we had this principal of the school coming in for the first time for a lecture. The principal looked serious (we found later that he is the funniest of the whole lot), so we kept silent and looked serious too.

Somewhere in between his lecture which started serious as well, he mentioned the word “fuck” and immediately someone at the back of the class expressed his shock (which was not a big surprise since we have not heard the “word” mentioned so open in public, more so in a school). The lecturer stopped his lectures and looked at us. He looked angry but actually he was not.

He smiled and then he started to laugh. He shook his head and asked why we were so disturbed with the “word”. As law students, it was one of the earliest lesson we learn on questioning on what we have learned todate and taking the courage to go against what has been established as “standards”.

He said that in downtown Harlem where he had visited once, the word is so common that it exist in almost all sentences. He then went to act like an African American from Harlem and start to speak with the “word” in almost all sentences. (adding other so-called “forbidden” words in between). That broke the ice and brought us into a new state of mind.

Now enjoy this revelation on the “word” – supposedly by an Indian lecturer (WARNING: due to the nature of the “word”, it is not considered as “safe for work”. Please do keep the volume down)

P.s. I got this one from a buddy of mine but there is no detail of the source and the story behind the recording but it is indeed a classic.